she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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