yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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