my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
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after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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