I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
