I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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