k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
