$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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