I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
