remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
