My friends, they love my intelligence
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
