you have to choose: penises or morals?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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