you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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