And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
