He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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