It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
