Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize