Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
