The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
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We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
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Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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