At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
