i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
