my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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