I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
ttyl tear gas
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I need to calm my uterus...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
