I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
