butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
