i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
