Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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