when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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