eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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