there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
