a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
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Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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