is your mom at the bar?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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