fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.