It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
