Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...

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  (843): ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now... http://tfl.nu/ndt5
  Replies (15) Good night (2322) Bad night (977)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"

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  (334): Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?" http://tfl.nu/nosa
  Replies (50) Good night (1025) Bad night (4847)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.

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  (701): two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room. http://tfl.nu/az3h
  Replies (31) Good night (832) Bad night (8696)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out

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  (304): tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out http://tfl.nu/97pi
  Replies (9) Good night (1243) Bad night (5545)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed

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  (713): when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed http://tfl.nu/1ijl
  Replies (13) Good night (5266) Bad night (1407)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?

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  (910): So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal? http://tfl.nu/acjy
  Replies (12) Good night (4144) Bad night (1158)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.

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  (219): I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore. http://tfl.nu/bvdb
  Replies (11) Good night (4305) Bad night (1849)
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  (818): View more from California

  Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob

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  (818): Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob http://tfl.nu/xjl4
  Replies (24) Good night (4762) Bad night (1131)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.

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  (270): My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there. http://tfl.nu/pghu
  Replies (0) Good night (1392) Bad night (591)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food

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  (978): i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food http://tfl.nu/q8kr
  Replies (7) Good night (1144) Bad night (1457)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."

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  (970): He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park." http://tfl.nu/6eh6
  Replies (9) Good night (1218) Bad night (569)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?

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  (317): Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I? http://tfl.nu/gm7j
  Replies (14) Good night (1763) Bad night (1119)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk

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  (425): Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk http://tfl.nu/cwi2
  Replies (10) Good night (446) Bad night (282)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.

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  (904): Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here. http://tfl.nu/5mlv
  Replies (1) Good night (497) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.

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  (405): Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay. http://tfl.nu/oj1t
  Replies (3) Good night (732) Bad night (277)

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