can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.