i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
