just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
