I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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