did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
