i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
