i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
