I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Shame - the story of my life.
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