there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
