I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
