Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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