Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.