found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.