Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just threw up on my dentist
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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