the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
