My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
