i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
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Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
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Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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