but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Found your dick twin last night
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
