OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
