We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
