420 ftw
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
