i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.