with your own penis?
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
