We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough