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• (407): View more from Florida

  I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (775): View more from Nevada

  My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.

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• (631): View more from New York

  Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"

  (425): View more from Washington

  You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.

  (416): View more from Toronto

  This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me

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