he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I think people are normalizing furries
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
