Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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