i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
