i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
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