I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
