if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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