why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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