Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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