the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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