you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
