My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
