Pants 0. Shit 1.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize