i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
